The Crazy One.

It was long decided
Settled
Shook on
The contract signed
Notarized
Filed and stamped

Yes, we decided
That I was the crazy one

Then we began

I acted accordingly
Well inside the legal boundaries
Loving and loony
I'd point to my heart
and scream you're breaking me
you're breaking me

And logic
You brought logic
And love
You brought love

I passed out in your arms
Mid-argument
Losing breath
Panic
You caught me
You caught me
And off to the doctor I went

Medicate
medicate
Medicate this girl

We nodded
And I swallowed the pills
I listened to your
perimeters
I traced the lines
And there I walked
On your fence
Balance
balance
No spotter

but I don't think that
in the set of documents
in that hail storm of
words and precedents
and cited history
in the descript of
contents and belongings
and expectations
no, i don't think that
anywhere in that
brief case of agreement
we discussed our retreat
or the prevention of such

or affirmed that

i, despite expanse
and occasional
circumstance
was amazing
and beautiful
and singularly
brilliant
and loved.

and worth it.
was i worth it?
i was supposed to be worth it.
whatever 'it' was.
the way that you were worth it
whatever 'it' was
to me

And it amuses me
as I lie in my bed
Pillow to head
bed spread to chin
as I realize
how fucking amazing
i am.

I took all those models
you had of me and all
those limitations of what
you could believe
and i didn't mean to
it just happened
i proved you wrong
by just continuing to
breathe
the next time I fell
and you weren't
there to catch me.